It looks like, that you totally do not know what to do said Chirag and it represented my state of my mind in the last few weeks.
The fact, that often hesitate and it's hard for me to make a decision it is nothing new to me, but this time this inability began to outgrow. Since a few weeks ago I received my not-so-positive (Although not tragic neither) information from my home country it disturbed my quite comfortable and despite the many nuisance still pleaant cycle wellbeing. Mental fight beginshow to sort out all this scuffle.
The circumstances in Vietnam are not my friend neither. After about 10 days of pedaling solo I meet Chirag again this time in the company of Ivan, the bicycle traveler from Spain, that he met on the way a few days earlier on Lao- Vietnam border. I just I'm going now to the north, to Hanoi, I mean I am just thinking which way to go, but that's fine, I change my mind, I swap my bike 180 degrees and join them on the way to the south. I want to get to 700 Hoi An, and then I don't know what I'll do. "I don't know" is my answer to almost everything. Sometimes, however, I would rather know something more.
I am happy because of this encounter, but this time it's completely different than in Laos is due to the limited length of the visa and the length of the country (almost 2000 km distance) You must forget about laziness – you have to smash kilometers. Begins a race against time and honking trucks on often under construction national road no AH1.
The guys are riding faster, Sometimes they disappear from the horizon. I know it's normal, We have different pace but now, When I am going in a group it causes some anxiety. I know, somewhere there surely will be waiting for me , but the sun shines into the eyes and sometimes we pass next to each other withut noticing one another. We repeatedly get lost and this is not that nice to me. I should I let it go, cycle solo – What's the problem, jut go and so I say to myself, Why are you so angry, you do not feel comfortble so do something with this.. but somehow this time I have no strength and something keeps me with them. I like their company, but the Vietnamese road reality triggers in me the worst instincts. I have enough of it. I am moving, and the tears running down my cheeks with no understandable reason. „Shut up!"I yell out loud to the trumpheting with nor reason vehicles. Are you all deaf?
But, but, after all, is also beautiful here. Somewhere every now and then we see the seashore, beaches, we stop, to jump into the water. The beach is just for ourselves! The priest in the catholicd church, where we stop for the night (churchsurfing this is how guys call it, but I'm not a fan of this word) makes us go to check the beach. Do you want to now go to sleep now? he asks. Go, relax, Here we have a beautiful beach here! he says showing us the way. On the beach, a group of locals play football – a few seconds later they have new players in the team. Chirag and Ivan love playing football, me I just walk a little along the sea.
In Hoi An we split -the guys continue to ride the Route AH1, I choose a path through the mountains. In Vietnam there is no much choice – the country is narrow and long, You can go either byt the coastal and busy route AH1, or mountain route known as the "Ho Chi Minh trail". From the first single hours I breathe and slowly come back onto my track. Although the road begins to climb is beautiful and quietl. And even though I had to turn back to Laos, to come back to Thailand, I decided to give Vietnam a second chance, I pass the turn to the border and continue. The people there are different here, do not cheat. Some truck stops, to give me a lift, some nice people make me stay at home. The road compensates the effort with the views. But after a few days when it does not compensate any more the effort to push my bike in the heat. on the no-shaded mountain road 40 I decide to stop, buy a ticket for a bus and in the morning I'm in Saigon. Some things more or less organized in my head , my companions are coming, It is ok now. We spend last days together 2 pack and go our ways, This time for good. I get to say goodbye shirt "I love Vietnam".. or maliciously perverted? And maybe someday this country to love, kto as.
Time for a change has come. I do not know yet what kind of a change exactly, but it's about time. I've already been here and there in South-East Asia and around. it is enough for me now. And I think after many months I would like to end up to talk with someone normally, and not only to exchange smiles. Smiles are always great, but it is no longer enough for me. I miss the very real talk.
The journey is not only smoothly led path under your wheels sometimes. Sometimes it is hard . Sometimes, it is harder due to your own request. Sometimes I forget, not to have expectations. When I don't have expectations, there are no disappointments. On the road I learned, that .... some things I just never learn. Chirag called me many times superwoman. but I don't feel such, on the contrary. I am leading this lifestyle and not another because I like it and I am able to live this way. it's not heroism. Like everyone else I doubt and i feel lost. Sometimes it bothers me the feeling of uncertainity and insecurity, Although the uncertainty, where I will sleep the next day for me is meaningless. This is the way I am. Me, myself and I.
The fact, I know for sure, is that my dreams go much further, further than Asia. Asia.. and beyond...? We'll See. Meanwhile, greetings from Thailand.